The last couple months I finally got my shit in order and started to actualize my goal and dream of getting a vasectomy. I’ve been thinking about it for years, and have been absolutely 100% sure that I want one for probably close to two years. Some days I don’t mind kids so much, when they’re not too jacked on Ritalin or sugar or happy childhood naivete. Other days they annoy the shit out of me. But I do love and care about them and their future. However, with something like 6,800,000,000 humans on Earth (that’s 6 billion, 800 million!), I feel that having even one child is one of the most destructive personal acts in which we can participate. Every new child in the first world is another acre of open space that evaporates for housing, industry, and agriculture. Every new kid is another mouth to feed in a hungry world that is being destroyed in part by agriculture. Every new kid is another potential car on the road, another several hundred pounds of garbage a year, more pesticides and herbicides poisoning the land and water, that much less space for nonhumans on the planet. And if a person really wants kids, why not take an unwanted child whose life would likely be wretched, and adopt them? Seems like the most loving thing to do if you love children. I like my freedom and don’t want to be tied down, so kids just aren’t for me–aside from the political factors. One more thing–this world is shit, and getting worse every day. Overall I often wish my parents hadn’t foisted this miserable life on me. That’s not to say I feel suicidal; since I’m already here, I’m gonna do what I can to make a difference.
So anyway, I went to Planned Parenthood and informed them that I am disabled, have no income, and no insurance that would help me with this. They operate on a sliding scale for vasectomies, and hopefully for abortions too. So the procedure was free for me (vasectomy, not abortion)! So a week ago Friday I went in to get it done. First they did a couple routine checks, like pricking my finger and getting a blood sample to make sure my iron is sufficient. It’s on the high end of normal. Take that, vegan nay-sayers! Then the doctor came in and said that a lot of young people (I’m 25) end up regretting it later. So he said, basically, “Convince me why you’re not going to regret it.” I said essentially what I’ve said here, and within a couple minutes he was sold.
All in all it was a VERY easy procedure and recovery. First they tape your dick to your stomach so that little fucker–no pun intended, ha!)–is out of the way (I’m thinking of utilizing this technique in my day-to-day life). Then they inject you with Novacaine to numb the area. A small pinch, probably the only painful part, and it lasts all of two seconds. They make two small incisions on the top and bottom of the scrotum, smaller than your pinky nail. Then cut two different veins and cauterize the ends, thereby preventing sperm from entering your semen. I healed famously, as vegans seem to often do. Very little swelling, almost no pain whatsoever, the usual ice and painkillers not even necessary. It is the most effective single form of birth control aside from abstinence (LOL. Good luck with that one!). No more worries about pregnancy, no more scary baby thoughts that leave you heaving in the middle of the night, a great political statement, and most importantly, no more goddamn condoms!
(sorry mom and soon-to-be mother-in-law if you’re reading this–it had to be said)
A vasectomy is MUCH safer and easier than a woman having her tubes tied. So as responsible Earth citizens, I feel it is our duty as males to step up to the plate, be big men, and get it done!