The last couple months I finally got my shit in order and started to actualize my goal and dream of getting a vasectomy.  I’ve been thinking about it for years, and have been absolutely 100% sure that I want one for probably close to two years.  Some days I don’t mind kids so much, when they’re not too jacked on Ritalin or sugar or happy childhood naivete.  Other days they annoy the shit out of me.  But I do love and care about them and their future.  However, with something like 6,800,000,000 humans on Earth (that’s 6 billion, 800 million!), I feel that having even one child is one of the most destructive personal acts in which we can participate.  Every new child in the first world is another acre of open space that evaporates for housing, industry, and agriculture.  Every new kid is another mouth to feed in a hungry world that is being destroyed in part by agriculture.  Every new kid is another potential car on the road, another several hundred pounds of garbage a year, more pesticides and herbicides poisoning the land and water, that much less space for nonhumans on the planet.  And if a person really wants kids, why not take an unwanted child whose life would likely be wretched, and adopt them?  Seems like the most loving thing to do if you love children.  I like my freedom and don’t want to be tied down, so kids just aren’t for me–aside from the political factors.  One more thing–this world is shit, and getting worse every day.  Overall I often wish my parents hadn’t foisted this miserable life on me.  That’s not to say I feel suicidal; since I’m already here, I’m gonna do what I can to make a difference.

So anyway, I went to Planned Parenthood and informed them that I am disabled, have no income, and no insurance that would help me with this.  They operate on a sliding scale for vasectomies, and hopefully for abortions too.  So the procedure was free for me (vasectomy, not abortion)!  So a week ago Friday I went in to get it done.  First they did a couple routine checks, like pricking my finger and getting a blood sample to make sure my iron is sufficient.  It’s on the high end of normal.  Take that, vegan nay-sayers!  Then the doctor came in and said that a lot of young people (I’m 25) end up regretting it later.  So he said, basically, “Convince me why you’re not going to regret it.”  I said essentially what I’ve said here, and within a couple minutes he was sold.

All in all it was a VERY easy procedure and recovery.  First they tape your dick to your stomach so that little fucker–no pun intended, ha!)–is out of the way (I’m thinking of utilizing this technique in my day-to-day life).  Then they inject you with Novacaine to numb the area.  A small pinch, probably the only painful part, and it lasts all of two seconds.   They make two small incisions on the top and bottom of the scrotum, smaller than your pinky nail.  Then cut two different veins and cauterize the ends, thereby preventing sperm from entering your semen.  I healed famously, as vegans seem to often do.  Very little swelling, almost no pain whatsoever, the usual ice and painkillers not even necessary.  It is the most effective single form of birth control aside from abstinence (LOL.  Good luck with that one!).  No more worries about pregnancy, no more scary baby thoughts that leave you heaving in the middle of the night, a great political statement, and most importantly, no more goddamn condoms!

(sorry mom and soon-to-be mother-in-law if you’re reading this–it had to be said)

A vasectomy is MUCH safer and easier than a woman having her tubes tied.  So as responsible Earth citizens, I feel it is our duty as males to step up to the plate, be big men, and get it done!

19 thoughts on “Vasectomy!

  1. TheRewildWest Post author

    That was a tremendously beautiful, sweet, and sagacious post Romain. Thank you so much. Sorry it took a year to approve it 😉 Btw, please reconsider going through with the procedure! It’s wonderful, almost completely painless, and a terrific political and personal statement; unless, as Derrick Jensen told someone on his message board, your idea of manhood is inextricably linked to the integrity of your vas deferens 😉

  2. Romain Blavier

    Hey homie,

    At this very moment you are incarcerated in Illinois, so this blog comment is essentially just speaking to myself (unless, of course, Rebecca is your webmistress). But let me speak with you in spirit and say that after re-reading this I must say that we truly are soul brothers, with you being the more talented and courageous brother.

    I myself did once go into a Planned Parenthood and had the mandatory screening session. I gave them a summary of my motives not very unlike yours. The nurse seemed elated that I didn’t just quip “no more rubbers” like your controversial exclamation empathizes. The screening session told me nothing that I didn’t know. Yet for whatever reason I never took the final plunge and got my torpedo tubes cemented. I even thought it was rad that the state would offer to give me 10mgs diazepam for free for my nerves when I had been tooting some recreationally the night before.

    Why did I wimp out? Well, for one in the long long ago when I was certain that I had somehow laid claim on a glowing bolt of smoldering meteorite that was true love, I had dreamed that it would indeed be dandy to raise one, perhaps two of my own (‘own’ being the important word both because it was why I wanted it, and because of how it frames my possessive past self, pun intended). I have long since distanced myself from that unstable way of thinking, but I am aware that I am capable of yearning for the traditional family experience.

    Next, everyone was telling me not to do it. Or rather, most people were telling me not to do it and no one was particularly enthusiastic about the proposition. Lucas, Kirsti, and yes, the Planned Parenthood nurse were proactively trying to shoo me away from the choice. Even the most liberal of Mother’s employees could do little more than give me a modicum of sympathy accompanied by a knowing nod that said “I’ve been there old bean, and I wish you godspeed my good man, lord knows I never quite had the guts to go through with it.” But why? I don’t have a sliver of male ego, or do I? (Meanwhile Katy was doing her most very earnest to influence my personal decision not one way nor the other.)

    Finally, as my world view had only recently unraveled, the unraveling was fresh in mind and made me feel vulnerable and short-sighted. Since I had been dimwitted enough to accept the precepts of marriage and family, patriarchy and patriotism, perhaps I was dimwitted enough to castrate myself. Not that I think it’s proper to even associate a vasectomy with castration, but I’ve come to expect that it takes two to tango and that invariably my own considerations shall have to take a backseat to someone else’s.

    And that’s why you’re the courageous one. You will never forget yourself or allow yourself to be coerced into false compromise with a diluting force. You are Jan and society will adapt to Jan and not the other way around. Romain is tainted incarnadine with the masses. You are a virgin pearl in the putrid gelatin that is me and just about everybody else, which is why I find it no less dramatic that you have wound up behind a lock and key since prisons have historically attracted the very best and the very worst and that their integration has led to some of the brightest burning.

    Someday not too far in the future I will be embracing you experiencing both the sweet relief of your liberation and the secure knowledge that, thank god, you cannot possibly impregnate me.

  3. Moochos

    I just got my test results back saying my vasectomy back in May was a success!

    For me and my wife it was a pretty simple decision. We have two kids, were absolutely sure we didn’t want more. We felt any more than two would be irresponsible, as per your arguments, though I understand that even having two children could be construed as irresponsible (I know more than I did then, though I don’t regret my little darlings).

    I think a lot more men need to start taking responsibility and doing the right thing. I’m sick of the number of guys who wince and moan when you raise the issue of vasectomies as if it is the greatest hardship in the world! How many of them have tried pushing a baby out?!! They seem to think contraception isn’t really their problem.

    I’ll stop ranting, but good on you and may more follow in your footsteps!

  4. Nikki

    Thanks for the response to my comment! 🙂 All aside, I do respect the mature decision on your part. It takes a lot for a man to be willing to go through with that regardless of what he may believe. Koudos! 🙂
    I fully agree that if you’re in a trusting relationship, that the need for condoms for disease prevention is no longer an issue.
    I see what you’re saying about how our decisions on the matter make an impact on the rest of the world, the whole “butterfly effect” has always been something I believed in, however I really just meant that the choice to go through with that procedure is a personal issue for some. As for the children, and the number of children people have, I can fully understand and appreciate the impact that has on the planet. My own personal opinion on that has always been that couples should try to stick to a 2 child maximum, but then again, we all have different opinions. 🙂
    As for the other points about our choices making an impact on the health of others, I fully agree. Even down to the decisions that others make to smoke, litter or anything else along those lines.
    The returning to local elements is such a nice thought, and I’m hoping to indulge in that, but it’s not always easy to do. With time, babysteps.. (haha, no pun intended…)
    To be honest, as my sister-in-law is going to be having her first baby in a couple of months, and witnessing the beauty of one of my best friends having had her first baby just a couple of days ago, I have to admit that I don’t believe it to be appropriate for everyone to follow in your footsteps, however I’m sure that if a large amount of people did, it would at least make some difference.

    Interesting entry though, and the fact that some people can comment and try to hassle you about your choice just shows that they aren’t comfortable in their own life’s decisions. Some people tend to get defensive whenever change is suggested.

    Best of luck!

    1. TheRewildWest Post author

      Oh, this is absolutely NOTHING compared to the hassle I get elsewhere for stating my idealogies. I got blasted CEASELESSLY on the Van Halen message boards (I’m not proud, I just used to be obsessed with the band and established relationships with people on the board that continued even after I stopped really caring about the band). I was recently banned from the forums after comparing the Jewish holocaust to the modern animal holocaust. Banned by the head guy at the site (a religious Jew) for “Anti-Semitic comments” (aka comparing human atrocities to nonhuman atrocities). Yes, I’m anti-Semitic–I’M ENGAGED TO A JEWISH GIRL, I ADORE HER JEWISH MOTHER AND SISTER, my first girlfriend was Jewish, most of my close friends are Jewish, and I DESCEND FROM POLISH JEWS, INCLUDING THE BIELSKI BROTHERS FROM THE MOVIE “DEFIANCE” (with Daniel Craig, aka the new James Bond), who were underground forest-dwelling partisans in WWII who bombed Nazi infrastructure and killed Nazis!! But yeah….I’m Anti-Semitic. LMFAO!! But I guess I shouldn’t expect much from a guy (the founder of the van halen boards) who claimed that YOU ARE NOT JEWISH UNLESS YOU BELIEVE IN THE JEWISH GOD. Riiiiiight. That sounds more anti-semitic than anything I said. Being Jewish is not just about a religion, it is a cultural and heritage thing as well. I’m very proud of my Jewish heritage, especially the part about killing Nazis.

    2. TheRewildWest Post author

      Oh, and I got all excited and wrapped up in that shit, I forgot to mention: you don’t have to give birth to have a baby; couples who adopt babies I’m sure are just as happy when they get them, and it’s a humane and responsible and loving choice instead of a selfish, irresponsible one =)

  5. TheRewildWest Post author

    No, I meant illegible like your grammar is so bad that I can hardly understand what you’re even saying.

    No free thinking? Have your read any of the posts? Seems pretty “free thinking” to me.

  6. Steve

    Why not let other be the judge of that?
    It wasn’t illegible to some one with an open mind.
    Were is the site/link I quoted.
    No free thinking around here.

  7. Vegan Vasectomy

    the next time I get laid it won’t require a condom. Yay! My vasectomy went really well and we do well to remember that we can spread our wisdom without spreading our seed.

    I’m friends with several kids, living with a house-mate and her three year old, and supporting a vegan imperative as the other “wisest choice” to reduce suffering, starvation and global climate collapse.

    I’d want to believe that we are going to avert the apocalyptic catastrophe of anthropogenic ecological failure that follows our rapid exhaustion of green house gas emitting energy sources, yet, to be prepared for the worst case scenario, we do well to see beyond fear and ask the hard questions.

    Ignoring the problem is antithetical to implementing a solution.

  8. markminerwrites

    Look people, it’s this simple. For years women have campaigned for the right to have choices in having or not having children…even getting rid of them. Men also have that right. Yeah, we can use condoms, as well as other contraceptives…but we also have the choice of having vascetomies if we want. It is an easy operation and can be reversed if wanted. So mature up and stop arguing…this is a blog to help educate each other, not to yell like children. Can we talk nice?

  9. Steve

    Why did you erase my second reply? Guess it all about your freedom and not everyone else.
    You’re weak.
    OK to criticize other, but not OK to take some?

    1. TheRewildWest Post author

      I did not approve your second comment because it was silly, nearly illegible, and didn’t add anything to the discussion; I said my piece and I’m not gonna get in a pissing war here. As Mark nicely put, that’s not what this place is about.

  10. Nikki

    What an interesting take on the topic of child birth, conception, and choices… I like how straight forward you are about it all!
    As much as you obviously don’t want someone to put down your opinions on the matter, this procedure you’ve had done is an entirely personal decision that, as with childbirth, is not really anyone’s business except for the two people involved…
    Also, what the first comment (I’m guessing) meant about the condom remark, was that you should still be using condoms regardless of whether or not you’re “potent” anymore. No one needs more people that are willing to spread disease. (Not saying you have anything, but I’m sure that’s where that person was going with the comment, even though they don’t have the ability to write properly.)
    As much as I agree with your beliefs of our planet being over populated at well over 6 billion people, if every man took on the same viewpoint as you, then no one would have children. There still needs to be SOME people having babies… 😉
    In some other countries, unfortunately they’re just not educated on birth control, or much else for that matter… Maybe instead of men getting “snipped”, proper sexual education should be mandatory. But then again, as we can see through out history, the views of some people in the world can never be thrust into the minds of others. Each culture has different opinions on child birth, so your opinions may be offensive to families of other cultures that feel the need to breed tons of offspring. (Hey, to add: I’m not all for the whole “4 kids per family” thing myself, but just saying…)
    Not everyone thinks about “the planet” and our over-populating it. People in general are more selfish than that, and tend to think of their own wants over the needs of the planet. Oh well. Maybe you’ve helped to change the world, one snip at a time…

    1. TheRewildWest Post author

      Thanks, Nikki. Given that I’m in a monogamous relationship and in fact am engaged with a woman who is tested and clean, venereal disease didn’t even enter into my head. I meant it for people who know and trust their partners.

      I do disagree though that it’s an entirely personal issue. What I do affects others, what you do affects me and others, and so forth. Stretch this concept of personal choice all the way out and you have people demanding they not be judged for molesting very young children. Personal choice. But when a personal choice infringes on the freedom or health of another person, that other person should AT LEAST have a say in the matter.

      It’s just another reason we need to return to local, bioregional, sustainably-numbered communities with egalitarian decision-making. It would put a human face on every decision.

      Thank you.

  11. markminerwrites

    I agree with what you wrote. I had a friend who got a vasectomy and he was back to work the next day. I have never had to think about the idea, because I’ve kept it in my pants. Although I do have two daughters, those were planned. I love your brash and blunt style. Wish everyone wrote like that.

    1. TheRewildWest Post author

      Thanks, Mark. I really appreciate that. My style is very deliberate; I feel like somebody has to do it, and not too many people are willing to. Unfortunately most people don’t like hearing the plain truth stated bluntly, so it gets me into a fair amount of trouble. Guess it’s just my cross to bear 😉

  12. Steve

    “No more condoms” what an idiot.
    Take your diatribe to South America, Africa, South Asia.
    Procreation is the meaning of life.
    Thanks for strengthening the gene pool.

    1. TheRewildWest Post author

      Steve, steve, steve…

      ” ‘No more condoms’ what an idiot. ”

      First off, isn’t it fucking hilarious when people TRY to put down someone’s intelligence using a sentence with grammatical errors that a FIFTH grader could catch? Looks more like YOU’RE the idiot, Smarty McBrains. Second, I think you misunderstood my point…furthering the mounting evidence against your mental acuity. See, what I meant by “no more condoms” is that I MYSELF would no longer need to use condoms, since I MYSELF just had a vasectomy. I KNOW, IT’S A LITTLE HARD TO FOLLOW. Sorry for being sooooo unclear. LMAO!

      “Take your diatribe to South America, Africa, South Asia.”

      Sounds like thinly veiled racism to me. You seem to be implying that their population is more of a problem than ours in America. What you apparently fail to take into account is that population is tied intricately into CONSUMPTION. An average American couple stopping at one child is like an Ethiopian couple stopping at 1,000 children, based on consumption levels. Our overpopulation is just as bad for the planet, if not worse, than any of the regions you mentioned. What you also fail to take into account is that this is the INTERNET, which can be accessed globally. And unless they’re taking English lessons from you, people across the world can read my blog. So in essence, I really kind of am “taking my diatribe” to them.

      “Procreation is the meaning of life.”

      Wow, sounds like you have an AMAZINGLY exciting life!! I sooooo want to hang out with you! (/sarcasm) Maybe you should…I don’t know…get a real meaningful life or something. We are so far beyond carrying capacity for the planet, especially at our consumption levels, that perhaps, just perhaps, we should rethink our role as citizens of the Earth. And strengthening the gene pool? If the human gene pool were composed solely of demon idiot spawn like you, full of cross-eyed knuckle-dragging inbred troglodytes, the pool would be about as strong as an 83-year-old with severe advanced osteoporosis. I’d much rather have people like Mark down there reproducing if it has to happen. Not you. Dear lord not you. That would be a gene pool murkier than the La Brea tar pits.

      Anybody have some aloe vera for Steve? His skin’s gonna be burning for a while now…


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